The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

    “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!” We are all familiar with the song and we know that most people agree: the year-ending holiday season is the most wonderful time of the year!

    But you might be one of the folks for which it is not true. Perhaps this is due to other, negative anniversaries falling during this time. Perhaps you are affected by disappointments of past Christmases. Perhaps current events overshadow the happiness that otherwise would surround you.

    If this is you, please don’t worry. We all need to realize that life goes on. The same thing will be true of birthdays, graduations, etc. The fact that a holiday or other event arrives does not magically remove daily needs, negative memories, or all the miscommunication that sometimes occurs. With the faster pace of life today, these things are more and more left unattended. True communication is assumed rather than given time to develop. Important feelings and necessary meditations have been suppressed by time constraints. These misunderstandings and frustrations are likely to pop up to ruin what we hope would be a festive time.

    What to do? We certainly don’t like it this way! But it may be that this season is for dealing with that other priority so that, come spring, or some holiday, or some anniversary in 2012, we will be able to join in the festivities without putting on a false front. How can we deal with an absence of holiday cheer? There are so many different reasons for its absence that we could never list all the ways we might deal with it, but here are a few:

• Maybe you need to take the emphasis off gift spending so you can instead focus on why you buy the gifts. You might discover that someone else’s expectation is driving you rather than your own true wishes. You might realize that there is a much better way to show the love and appreciation that you thought you were showing with a purchased gift.
• Maybe you need to stop building up expectations of what others will do and accept that family member for who and what they are. You may be unable to know what frustrations or other obstacles prevent them from reaching the expectations you have created in your mind.
• Maybe you need to let past losses be a part of today’s joys; remember the traditions, recreate (with realistic expectations) the experiences for others, accomplish today the things that person would have done in the past (if you don’t have their skills, substitute another worthy activity in their memory/honor).

    As I already wrote, these are just examples of what some people might need to do to get past holiday doldrums. Hopefully it will get you thinking about your situation and you will be able to enjoy what is good in your life right now without any gloom from Christmases past, present, or yet to come.

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